Dear sweet sweet Justine
I need you to know you are loved and you have been created on purpose and your future is filled with peace and joy and hope. You don’t know it yet but Jesus is with you and one day, when the time is just right, you will understand the meaning of life. You do not have to work this out for yourself right now, live and it will come.
Yes people are mean, those boys teasing you and the girls excluding you, you will barely remember their names by the time you finish university, they will have no impact on your life at all and you will not even see them again. Don’t hate them. I know everybody else is but I am not sure attending your Debutante Ball is such a great idea, if you do insist don’t have your hair done in ringlets.
As far as I can tell you are never going to appeal to the masses but throughout your life you will meet and be friends with beautiful people. There are going to be times when you feel really lonely and you will constantly search for a better way to exist, but this will be exciting for you and stay true to your intuition, it pays off and you are rewarded with more love than you can dream of right now.
Try not to be so angry, I know you are afraid of being hurt, not fitting in, of being exposed, but relax, life truly isn’t that serious. Love your Mum and sister more, don’t slam the door so much, even though it feels good sometimes. Your little sister is awesome, I know you hate her because she is beautiful and life looks easy for her, but she needs you to love her more, she will be your best friend and confidant throughout life, she will be there when you go into labour with your first baby, she will be your sweet, kind and calm bridesmaid, you will talk to her on the phone every day ... yes everyday.
Don’t make that barrier between you and everybody else any thicker or higher, as hard as it is; try to enjoy those people around you. Laugh a little more freely, shake free of the responsibility you have placed on your own shoulders. You are young, you have long legs and beautiful hair, love it, enjoy it, savour it because youth is wonderful.
Nobody expects you to have all the answers, relax. You are gifted in so many ways. You don’t think you are beautiful, but you are interesting and wonderful people, that you like and respect very much, will want to spend time with you. You look at yourself and see all the things you are not, or don’t have and some of these things will taunt you continuously, and will always make you feel a little insecure but embrace all that is great about you, and there is plenty. You want to know what you will be when you grow up but I still have no clue, my only tips are take photos, write stories and learn to love.
Practise saying nice things to and about people, people you like and those you don’t. It sounds stupid but this is something you will want to master later on in life and if you start now it will be much easier, and save you lots of grief.
The day you hold your baby niece for the first time, say your wedding vows, and cuddle your baby girls with all your might, and invite Jesus to live in your heart, these are the days that matter and they are coming, you are beautiful, you are loved and you are blessed and will be a blessing to many. So hang in there kiddo, you are loved more than you will ever know.
Love from Justine
Love from Justine