Thursday, 26 September 2013

I had a poo in my pants

I often get a poo in my pants, not literally of course, but you know when you just feel sorry for yourself, thinking you are awesome and getting frustrated because the rest of the world doesn’t see it.  You feel unappreciated and taken for granted by all those around you.  It is this awful feeling that I am referring to when I say I have a poo in my pants (P.I.M.Ps).

When I am experiencing all the symptoms of P.I.M.Ps life if not fun, I suffer dark moods, paranoia, helplessness and frustration that nobody understands me.  It results in a lot of sulking but sometimes it leads to me quitting jobs, ending friendships, yelling at my children and sometimes husband with threats to leave home FOREVER and I get cranky at God!  It is all consuming. 

The best way to describe it is like a beautiful crystal clear warm beach, lovely gentle waves, everybody safely swimming, laughing, joking, completely emerged in the magnificence of the moment.  Then completely unexpectedly a big, angry wave starts to quietly form in the background, no one notices and then all of a sudden it roars towards the shore, sucking up more water, building force and then crashing with ferocity on the sandy beach, leaving everybody dishevelled, upset, a little scared and debris scattered across the sand.  In this scenario I am both the wave and one of the innocent people dumped by the wave and unceremoniously plonked on the sand with my swimmers dislodged and revealing some of my most private areas to all other beach goers.

The severity, duration and frequency of the illness is irregular and difficult to measure, it wouldn’t occur more than once a month and can last for one hour to one week, depending on how successful I am at convincing myself that my life is repetitive, my family is ungrateful and nobody understands me because I am obscure and truth be told fascinating in a way that words cannot describe, haha. 

There are a number of treatments to remove the poo from my pants and improve my outlook on life.  Firstly I eventually realise I have ‘a poo in my pants’ and usually this thought makes me smile and the symptoms pass.  Otherwise I see something shiny, sparkly or pretty and this also makes me smile and the symptoms pass.  I can see a beautiful smile from my friends, children or husband, or even just go outside and water my seedlings all of which can make the symptoms pass. 

Once the poo is removed from my pants I can see the sun shining, I hear the birds singing, I can enjoy the children laughing and I remember how incredibly awesome my life is.  I am being a little bit cavalier about this but I do generally worry that one day the feelings might overwhelm me and I just might run away.  I also worry we may be creating generations of people who will suffer this illness, some with less severe symptoms and others will suffer profound and possibly life changing side effects.  At the slightest setback, whether it be feeling a little bit lonely, not having the perfect day, having to work a little bit harder to get something, waiting in line a little bit longer than expected, any of these little inconveniences can lead to the onset of the dreaded P.I.M.Ps. 

Building resilience is vital, and there is a lot of research around helping to build resilience in our children.  I think awareness is also important and I look forward to seeing a government advertising campaign in the future helping people recognise the symptoms of P.I.M.Ps and suggesting possible treatments.  Heheheh that makes me smile J

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