How has this windy wind been making you feel?
Yesterday I spent the whole day bemoaning the wind and how it unsettled my soul, and I basically refused to go outside. Today however I got out there amongst it and it felt fabulous. Stepping outside this morning into the wind, with my lovely woolen beanie on, it simultaneously felt like old ways of thinking and being were blown away to make room for the new, and that the dull embers of my soul were being flamed. What currently feels like a dim light raged red with energy and excitement out in the wind.
I have worked very hard to build a nice, safe, comfortable life. If it is hot I put the air-conditioner on, if it is cold I put the heater on and generally if it is windy I stay inside, no reason to not be absolutely comfortable at all times right? We all love comfort. Most of my working life I have worked for other people, investing my creativity and passion and determination to make others money whilst I receive a lovely safe and sensible wage. I have my favourite television shows that I love to watch every week and we tick along in a pretty steady routine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a comfortable life, in fact it is a blessing but not if the comfort is killing me softly.
It feels like the wind has fanned the hot coals of the much larger furnace burning in my soul, the energy, the passion, the desire all being swirled around and like with a real fire it is hard to contain and control once it gets a new energy source. It is the wind today that made the fire flare up. It is fear of the unknown, fear about what people will think, feelings of unworthiness and comparison that keep the fire under control and me sitting pretty in my comfort zone.
However, the wind stirred up an underlying knowing deep inside of me and raised it to the surface. A big part of my day, each day, is spent settling for the mundane and I think it may be slowly robbing me of my physical health. My physical body and intuition is shouting at me yet I still I struggle to listen. Today's wind seemed to amplify the voice and the feeling to a level that was hard to ignore. Sure I felt very unsettled, and initially I didn't like it much at all, but then I could hear the whisper of God. That call to be courageous and strong and accept the invitation to step forward in faith and I know God rewards the brave, not only are there A LOT of Bible stories that feature bravery in seemingly very dire situations, but I have also witnessed it just in my own small life.
It is strange that I am dragging my feet so long on this because to change the current situation isn't even that hard, it just takes a huge leap of faith and some time and money but most importantly belief in myself. I actually want my girls to see that it is absolutely alright to take a risk, to step out in faith without any guarantee of the end result, to go on a journey of discovery and learn all the lessons along the way, and I think it is a lesson best learnt if you can observe and experience it, not just read about it on blogs or hear about it on Podcasts.
I would love to hear how you feel on windy days/weeks, and if you have any encouraging stories of when you were brave please share.
With much love on this windy day