I often get a poo in my pants, not literally of course, but
you know when you just feel sorry for yourself, thinking you are awesome and
getting frustrated because the rest of the world doesn’t see it. You feel unappreciated and taken for granted
by all those around you. It is this
awful feeling that I am referring to when I say I have a poo in my pants
(P.I.M.Ps).
When I am experiencing all the symptoms of P.I.M.Ps life if
not fun, I suffer dark moods, paranoia, helplessness and frustration that
nobody understands me. It results in a
lot of sulking but sometimes it leads to me quitting jobs, ending friendships,
yelling at my children and sometimes husband with threats to leave home FOREVER
and I get cranky at God! It is all
consuming.
The best way to describe it is like a beautiful crystal
clear warm beach, lovely gentle waves, everybody safely swimming, laughing,
joking, completely emerged in the magnificence of the moment. Then completely unexpectedly a big, angry
wave starts to quietly form in the background, no one notices and then all of a
sudden it roars towards the shore, sucking up more water, building force and
then crashing with ferocity on the sandy beach, leaving everybody dishevelled, upset,
a little scared and debris scattered across the sand. In this scenario I am both the wave and one
of the innocent people dumped by the wave and unceremoniously plonked on the
sand with my swimmers dislodged and revealing some of my most private areas to
all other beach goers.
The severity, duration and frequency of the illness is
irregular and difficult to measure, it wouldn’t occur more than once a month
and can last for one hour to one week, depending on how successful I am at
convincing myself that my life is repetitive, my family is ungrateful and
nobody understands me because I am obscure and truth be told fascinating in a
way that words cannot describe, haha.
There are a number of treatments to remove the poo from my
pants and improve my outlook on life.
Firstly I eventually realise I have ‘a poo in my pants’ and usually this
thought makes me smile and the symptoms pass.
Otherwise I see something shiny, sparkly or pretty and this also makes
me smile and the symptoms pass. I can
see a beautiful smile from my friends, children or husband, or even just go
outside and water my seedlings all of which can make the symptoms pass.
Once the poo is removed from my pants I can see the sun
shining, I hear the birds singing, I can enjoy the children laughing and I
remember how incredibly awesome my life is.
I am being a little bit cavalier about this but I do generally worry
that one day the feelings might overwhelm me and I just might run away. I also worry we may be creating generations
of people who will suffer this illness, some with less severe symptoms and
others will suffer profound and possibly life changing side effects. At the slightest setback, whether it be
feeling a little bit lonely, not having the perfect day, having to work a
little bit harder to get something, waiting in line a little bit longer than
expected, any of these little inconveniences can lead to the onset of the
dreaded P.I.M.Ps.
Building resilience is vital, and there is a lot of research
around helping to build resilience in our children. I think awareness is also important and I
look forward to seeing a government advertising campaign in the future helping
people recognise the symptoms of P.I.M.Ps and suggesting possible
treatments. Heheheh that makes me smile J