A great wind has been blowing

How has this windy wind been making you feel?

Yesterday I spent the whole day bemoaning the wind and how it unsettled my soul, and I basically refused to go outside. Today however I got out there amongst it and it felt fabulous. Stepping outside this morning into the wind, with my lovely woolen beanie on, it simultaneously felt like old ways of thinking and being were blown away to make room for the new, and that the dull embers of my soul were being flamed. What currently feels like a dim light raged red with energy and excitement out in the wind.

I have worked very hard to build a nice, safe, comfortable life. If it is hot I put the air-conditioner on, if it is cold I put the heater on and generally if it is windy I stay inside, no reason to not be absolutely comfortable at all times right? We all love comfort. Most of my working life I have worked for other people, investing my creativity and passion and determination to make others money whilst I receive a lovely safe and sensible wage. I have my favourite television shows that I love to watch every week and we tick along in a pretty steady routine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a comfortable life, in fact it is a blessing but not if the comfort is killing me softly.

It feels like the wind has fanned the hot coals of the much larger furnace burning in my soul, the energy, the passion, the desire all being swirled around and like with a real fire it is  hard to contain and control once it gets a new energy source. It is the wind today that made the fire flare up. It is fear of the unknown, fear about what people will think, feelings of unworthiness and comparison that keep the fire under control and me sitting pretty in my comfort zone. 

However, the wind stirred up an underlying knowing deep inside of me and raised it to the surface. A big part of my day, each day, is spent settling for the mundane and I think it may be slowly robbing me of my physical health. My physical body and intuition is shouting at me yet I still I struggle to listen. Today's wind seemed to amplify the voice and the feeling to a level that was hard to ignore. Sure I felt very unsettled, and initially I didn't like it much at all, but then I could hear the whisper of God. That call to be courageous and strong and accept the invitation to step forward in faith and I know God rewards the brave, not only are there A LOT of Bible stories that feature bravery in seemingly very dire situations, but I have also witnessed it just in my own small life. 

It is strange that I am dragging my feet so long on this because to change the current situation  isn't even that hard, it just takes a huge leap of faith and some time and money but most importantly belief in myself. I actually want my girls to see that it is absolutely alright to take a risk, to step out in faith without any guarantee of the end result, to go on a journey of discovery and learn all the lessons along the way, and I think it is a lesson best learnt if you can observe and experience it, not just read about it on blogs or hear about it on Podcasts.

I would love to hear how you feel on windy days/weeks, and if you have any encouraging stories of when you were brave please share.

With much love on this windy day

Justine xx

Fly like a bird released (obligatory Coronavirus blog)

The world pandemic that is Coronavirus has made us cling to safety and control much tighter than ever before. Keeping our job seems to have become more crucial and trying to save and plan for a really uncertain future has escalated in priority. Shaking hands or hugging anyone outside our own household has become a fineable offense, staying home in lock down, not crossing state borders, sanitising  before you enter any building, registering at every venue you visit, staying seated when you go to a Pub or restaurant ... we are living in truly strange times. The rules are currently endless, and constantly changing, and all are designed to keep us alive and well, so it seems like a good idea to follow them.

With all these rules it is easy to feel trapped and controlled which for me can trigger anger and the strong desire to rebel. Looking in from the outside it would seem I live a super conservative and comfortable life so why would a few more rules really matter, but being told to stay home and stay safe and keep your job and put more money in your superannuation account makes me want to sell everything, convert a bus into a really cool home, and run away with my family to become a full-time gypsy (check out @runningwld_mama on Instragram). For me this would clearly be a flight response. You know in Braveheart when William Wallace says "They may take away our lives but they'll never take our freedom",  well that true sense of freedom speaks to my soul. From when our girls were very young they have had an artwork on their wall of a bird cage left opened and all the birds flying free, freedom is important to us all.

During this time of small time struggle Jesus has definitely taken the time to tinker (thank you Ps Shane for this great word) with my soul and prepare my heart to view the world, and the current situation, a little differently. For most of us being brave right now is more about staying physically put but not giving up, giving in or quitting. It is less about moving to a new town, starting a new job, travelling to an exotic country, selling everything to start a new business or abseiling off a cliff.  It is more about being spiritually and personally brave in this very moment, it is about turning up and being authentic, now more than ever we need to remove the superficial masks and let our true 'child of God' self rise to the surface - which is probably the bravest thing any of us can ever do. This strange time is our personal invitation to be courageous, dig deep, and as Ps Bobbie Houston says "step out, press in and press on". This kind of brave will not give you an Insta worthy picture to share, which can make it seem a little less appealing, but it is possibly a million times more important than anything else, ever.

There are endless stories of how the current pandemic has made people realise how important their spouse and or/children are to them, how much they have enjoyed exploring their hobbies again, how crucial their faith really is during times of struggle. Many people have experienced an unraveling of what they had previously believed to be important. Researcher and Author Brene Brown explains when you have a life crisis it is "an unraveling - a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you're 'supposed' to live. The unravelling is a time when you are challenged to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are".

Spiritual freedom is a concept that I have been contemplating. Living through a historic moment in time, like we are right now, gives all of us much more time to ponder, to consider what is important, what triggers us to respond in a certain ways, what stories we are telling ourselves and where true north is on our life compass. What makes us creates a "nice, little, safe, comfortable, complacent, ordinary life instead of pursuing a wild faith adventure?" (Christine Caine). The Bible tells us repeatedly to be strong and courageous, and this is the perfect time to consider what this truly means, what does strong and courageous look and feel like, right now, when the rubber hits the road.

So now that I have stopped raging against this perceived idea of control and lost freedom I have immersed myself in exploring the concept of spiritual freedom - how do we get it and what do I need to release from my life to truly experience the freedom that God promises us. Rather than feeling indignant about the Government telling me where I can and can't go, and seemingly gaining more and more control over our every day lives, I am trying to adjust the perception to consider what freedom really means. 

Whilst we have lost so much freedom due to COVID-19 for us personally we have  gained the freedom to plant a lot of trees on our little farm. This does not seem like much now but in 10 years time I can guarantee it will mean a lot. Considering the idea of freedom raises so many ideas, long held beliefs and thoughts within me, I start to think about what I have lost in the short-term and then what I have gained, and then when you extrapolate this out across the nation and globe it starts to blow my tiny little mind.

I would love to hear what the Coronavirus pandemic has challenged you to consider and think about?

With much love

Justine x

PS Just for the record I do think the time will come, sometime in the future, when we may need to fight to get some of our freedoms back but we can cross that bridge when we come to it, and this may call for a whole new level of courage and strength.